I had a vaguely formed idea of what I wanted to write about today based on hearing some clients express feeling bored. There are a lot of people (especially in the teen to young adult age groups) who report that they aren’t particularly active, especially in the summer. In my unofficial, completely anecdotal experience, it tends to seem that more complaints of boredom correlate with an increased amount of time using a screen of some type (phone, tv, computer, tablet, etc). The interesting thing is that the whole day is often described as boring when a person spends that whole day on their screen. This shouldn’t make sense, right? They’re doing something that is supposed to entertain them. Kids often complain about being bored while also complaining that, “There’s nothing to do.” However, an article from Harvard Medical School** points out that we can be doing nothing (like watching a sunset) and not feel bored while we quietly sit. Another article from Psychology Today* suggests that boredom comes from doing things that are unfulfilling or not meaningful, and this might make all the difference when someone is describing feeling bored even though they’re being passively entertained throughout the day.
I tend to think that bored isn’t quite the right word for these individuals…at least not in the traditional sense. While doing an activity, people probably aren’t actually feeling bored, at least not until that activity reaches the point of not being stimulating and they decide to do something else. I think the described memory of, “It was boring yesterday” comes from feeling unfulfilled with whatever they were doing, but it may not be true boredom. An article from The Mayo Clinic suggests*** that the ease of electronic entertainment is actually causing a different problem because they prevent boredom. Maybe you read that and thought, “Is he just talking in circles?” This article points out that doing an activity uses a lot of brainpower. Afterward, the brain craves rest, which allows us to reflect and consolidate what we’ve learned. Have you noticed that many of our epiphany moments happen when we’re on autopilot, like in the shower? That’s because in these moments, our brains wander and start to look for solutions to problems or opportunities for creativity.
When we actually feel bored, it is typically perceived as an uncomfortable sensation* that causes us to want to get up and do something or reflect. However, it can also be a sensation that suggests a lack of awareness about what would actually be fulfilling. If that sounded harsh, just know that there are a lot of people who don’t really have hobbies or pursue interests. In fact, some people report to me that they have no idea what their interests are. Video games can be hobbies; however, I think there is a point where they change from a hobby to pass some time and just become an activity that consumes hours and hours of each day. I can say that I’ve never talked with an adult who spends a large chunk of their day gaming who finds it fulfilling.
What should we do about boredom, then? First of all, there may be some benefit to leaning in** to the feelings and see what there is to learn from them. I often remind clients that our feelings are gifts from our ancestors, and they are usually trying to serve a purpose. The Mayo Clinic has the following recommendations:
Balance activities with rest. I’d like to add that there should be a good amount of true rest, not just distracting ourselves with our phones
Try something new. You don’t have to make purchases and commit to a new hobby, just allow yourself to wonder what might be interesting, and then be courageous enough to check out something new
Get outdoors. Checking in with nature is great for our mental health and walking is an extremely underrated exercise.
Be kind and interact with others
Reminisce and practice gratitude
My takeaway from reading these articles is that boredom isn’t the problem. The problem is when we are filling our days with unfulfilling time wasters. This is especially relevant for kids because most kids will probably spend about as much time on an electronic device as they’re allowed to, and as I stated before, this isn’t very fulfilling. Allowing our kids and ourselves to experience boredom without the easy escape of an electronic can propel us into finding new interests and activities that can add meaning to our lives.
*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/boredom
**https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/how-to-make-boredom-work-for-you