Most people have probably heard about Separation Anxiety Disorder. The description is fairly straightforward too: anxiety that has to do with being separated from an attachment figure. I think most people assume this is a childhood condition, and it is safe to say that it is certainly most commonly seen in children. However, this can happen with adults as well. After all, we don’t just become attached as children to our primary caregivers. We also attach to very close friends and romantic partners when we are older. This disorder isn’t referring to missing someone when they are gone, though. That is completely normal and expected, especially if we are apart from someone for an extended length of time. As with most mental health problems, separation anxiety becomes a problem when it interferes with daily living or has an unhealthy impact on relationships. So, while some degree of separation anxiety might be a normal experience in our relationships, Separation Anxiety Disorder begins to interfere with one’s work, daily life, or with their relationships.
According to an article* from Psychcentral, three signs of separation anxiety are as follows:
Fear of being alone or abandoned or that your relationship is ending.
Fear or anxiety about the person you’re attached to leaving the house.
Excessive worry about harm occurring to the person you’re attached to.
As far as what causes this, *usually someone who develops Separation Anxiety Disorder has experienced trauma or wounds in attaching to loved ones. Often we can point to one’s childhood, and in fact, approximately 1 ⁄ 3 of children who have this diagnosis will continue to experience symptoms into adulthood. However, our ability to attach to others does change during our lives, so these wounds may come from relationships after childhood. Grief and PTSD can also result in a sense of panic when a loved one is not around. The Mayo Clinic** also points out that genetics and family history may play a role in developing the disorder. Someone with Separation Anxiety Disorder may start to develop other problems, like other anxiety disorders, depression, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder if symptoms start to worsen.
If you are worried that you or someone you care about is dealing with Separation Anxiety Disorder, Psychcentral* has some tips:
Seek professional help. There are many different treatment methods that are effective for helping people who deal with this and other conditions. Think of it this way, if you were able to find the solution on your own, you probably would’ve already done so because no one really wants to suffer needlessly. Often, a counselor can help you to see things from another perspective and give you the tools that you need to manage and overcome this anxiety.
Mindfulness is a practice that I recommend frequently in this blog because there is a lot of research that shows the helpful effects that it has on our brains. It is especially helpful in helping people to overcome mood and anxiety disorders.
Journaling can be helpful, and “dear diary” isn’t the only way to keep a journal. Jotting down your victories from the day (or week), as well as keeping track of the things for which you are grateful are also great ways to keep a helpful journal. Writing down the positives are especially helpful on days that you need a reminder that things aren’t all bad. By the way, if you want to write about gratitude, but you are having trouble, remember that there is always something to be grateful for: the fresh air when you step outside, the meal you last finished, the people in your life that you love, etc.
Exercise, like mindfulness, is another thing that I recommend frequently, and it is also helpful with Separation Anxiety Disorder. In a book from Dr. Alex Korb called, The Upward Spiral he mentions that exercise can actually boost the following neurotransmitters and chemicals within our brains: Serotonin (willpower and regulating moods), Dopamine (habits and enjoyment), Norepinephrine (regulating stress), Endorphins (euphoria and pain reduction), Endocannabinoids (peacefulness and pain reduction), Melatonin (sleep), BDNF (strengthening and growing neurons), and it reduces cortisol (the stress hormone). Exercise isn’t just good for our bodies, it is good for our brains.
*https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/separation-anxiety-in-relationships