I was recently asked to be a part of a “Ask the Experts” panel at the Mental Health First Responders Conference. “Sure, no problem,” I responded when I was first asked, but when it actually came time to be on stage in front of a room of professionals the doubts started to kick in. My specific worry was being asked something that I “should” know but not knowing the answer, or that I would answer questions in an incoherent ramble. I don’t think that I specifically worried that a team of teachers and mental health professionals would gather together to throw me out on the street, but there was definitely some fear of looking stupid or ignorant. That is a classic ongoing feeling for those that are dealing with imposter syndrome. To be clear, imposter syndrome isn’t an actual disorder* or diagnosis. It is something that about 70%** of us report experiencing at some point in adulthood. People experiencing imposter syndrome tell themselves*** that everyone else around them knows exactly what they are doing, but these individuals are plagued with doubts and insecurities. They tend to worry that they will be exposed as frauds who don’t actually have any idea what they’re doing.
Later I remembered an interview that I had heard on NPR with Adam Grant. I’ve previously read one of his books called, Think Again, which is about embracing being wrong instead of fearing mistakes. It was a great book, and the interview was fantastic too. He was talking about his new book, called, Hidden Potential. There were a lot of really cool concepts that they were discussing in this interview about ego, imposter syndrome, and how everyone has hidden potential that is waiting to be uncovered. This interview can be found on the “How I Built This” podcast by Guy Raz, titled, “Achieving Greater Things.”
So according to Dr. Grant, who are the people who experience imposter syndrome? Weirdly, it’s the high achievers*** who most commonly experience this. Also, actual imposters don’t have these same complicated fears and worries, so if you’re experiencing it, the good news is that you’re probably not an imposter. This pseudo diagnosis becomes a problem** because those who have imposter syndrome obsess over being perfect and constantly compare themselves to others. This can stunt creativity and keep people stuck. This type of thinking also seems to have a basis in shame. Shame is deflating and unmotivating. Shame keeps people in the same place because, while guilt says, “I’ve done something bad,” shame says, “I am bad.” This distinction makes it difficult to improve ourselves because shame says that I am hopeless and can’t get any better.
So what can people do about this? Some tips from Psych Central* include:
Mindfully acknowledge your thoughts. Just becoming aware that one’s thoughts are negative is a huge step toward adjusting thought patterns. In my experience, this exercise helps clients to start to realize that thoughts are simply thoughts, not facts.
Consider the evidence by making a list of your accomplishments.
Give yourself positive affirmations. Praise from others feels great, but the feeling doesn’t last. Internal validation and praise may not seem believable at first, but stick with it because eventually it will feel true and be longer lasting than outside praise.
Share your feelings with people that you trust deeply.
Set realistic goals for yourself.
There were two points from the interview with Adam Grant that I wanted to share as well because I found them to be particularly profound. First of all, he spoke about a mindset that is more helpful when receiving feedback. He pointed out that high achievers all have some level of ego or sense of their own importance, but the most successful people often have a way of viewing themselves through a lens that’s focused on future growth as opposed to present comfort. He said that once we’ve been evaluated or assessed, the grading is done and in the past. Arguing with the grade or measuring our sense of self worth against something that is already over isn’t helpful, but taking that assessment and using it to nail the next one is a growth-oriented way of thinking that helps us to make improvements. Second, he noted that if other people have higher expectations for you than you do of yourself, it means that, “They’ve seen a capacity for growth in you that’s not visible to you yet.” If other people think highly of you, maybe they’re not overestimating you, maybe you’re underestimating yourself. This means that it’s time to stop listening to your own inner critic and start listening to those that are cheering you on.
*https://psychcentral.com/lib/impostor-syndrome#what-is-it
**https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome
***https://health.clevelandclinic.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome