I was recently asked to be a part of a “Ask the Experts” panel at the Mental Health First Responders Conference. “Sure, no problem,” I responded when I was first asked, but when it actually came time to be on stage in front of a room of professionals the doubts started to kick in. My specific worry was being asked something that I “should” know but not knowing the answer, or that I would answer questions in an incoherent ramble. I don’t think that I specifically worried that a team of teachers and mental health professionals would gather together to throw me out on the street, but there was definitely some fear of looking stupid or ignorant. That is a classic ongoing feeling for those that are dealing with imposter syndrome. To be clear, imposter syndrome isn’t an actual disorder* or diagnosis. It is something that about 70%** of us report experiencing at some point in adulthood. People experiencing imposter syndrome tell themselves*** that everyone else around them knows exactly what they are doing, but these individuals are plagued with doubts and insecurities. They tend to worry that they will be exposed as frauds who don’t actually have any idea what they’re doing.

Later I remembered an interview that I had heard on NPR with Adam Grant. I’ve previously read one of his books called, Think Again, which is about embracing being wrong instead of fearing mistakes. It was a great book, and the interview was fantastic too. He was talking about his new book, called, Hidden Potential. There were a lot of really cool concepts that they were discussing in this interview about ego, imposter syndrome, and how everyone has hidden potential that is waiting to be uncovered. This interview can be found on the “How I Built This” podcast by Guy Raz, titled, “Achieving Greater Things.”

So according to Dr. Grant, who are the people who experience imposter syndrome? Weirdly, it’s the high achievers*** who most commonly experience this. Also, actual imposters don’t have these same complicated fears and worries, so if you’re experiencing it, the good news is that you’re probably not an imposter. This pseudo diagnosis becomes a problem** because those who have imposter syndrome obsess over being perfect and constantly compare themselves to others. This can stunt creativity and keep people stuck. This type of thinking also seems to have a basis in shame. Shame is deflating and unmotivating. Shame keeps people in the same place because, while guilt says, “I’ve done something bad,” shame says, “I am bad.” This distinction makes it difficult to improve ourselves because shame says that I am hopeless and can’t get any better.

So what can people do about this? Some tips from Psych Central* include:

Mindfully acknowledge your thoughts. Just becoming aware that one’s thoughts are negative is a huge step toward adjusting thought patterns. In my experience, this exercise helps clients to start to realize that thoughts are simply thoughts, not facts.
Consider the evidence by making a list of your accomplishments.
Give yourself positive affirmations. Praise from others feels great, but the feeling doesn’t last. Internal validation and praise may not seem believable at first, but stick with it because eventually it will feel true and be longer lasting than outside praise.
Share your feelings with people that you trust deeply.
Set realistic goals for yourself.

There were two points from the interview with Adam Grant that I wanted to share as well because I found them to be particularly profound. First of all, he spoke about a mindset that is more helpful when receiving feedback. He pointed out that high achievers all have some level of ego or sense of their own importance, but the most successful people often have a way of viewing themselves through a lens that’s focused on future growth as opposed to present comfort. He said that once we’ve been evaluated or assessed, the grading is done and in the past. Arguing with the grade or measuring our sense of self worth against something that is already over isn’t helpful, but taking that assessment and using it to nail the next one is a growth-oriented way of thinking that helps us to make improvements. Second, he noted that if other people have higher expectations for you than you do of yourself, it means that, “They’ve seen a capacity for growth in you that’s not visible to you yet.” If other people think highly of you, maybe they’re not overestimating you, maybe you’re underestimating yourself. This means that it’s time to stop listening to your own inner critic and start listening to those that are cheering you on.

*https://psychcentral.com/lib/impostor-syndrome#what-is-it

**https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome

***https://health.clevelandclinic.org/a-psychologist-explains-how-to-deal-with-imposter-syndrome

Last week’s blog was all about procrastination, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you finished it and started thinking, “I guess I do procrastinate…so, what am I supposed to do about it?” Recognizing that something is a problem has to be the first step in finding a solution. If you procrastinate in some (or many) areas, we will take a look at another article from Krissy Bradley for some advice on what to do about it. Bradley suggests 9 things to help get procrastination under control.

Step 1* is to triage your tasks. If you like, you can pretend that you’re in an episode of ER (or Grey’s Anatomy if you want a reference that is a little more current). In a real Emergency Room, doctors have to make decisions about who is in desperate need of immediate life-saving care, and who can wait. It might be annoying if you are waiting for someone to check out your ankle, but if you’re having a heart attack, you’ll probably be grateful to be prioritized. If you have a mountain of tasks in front of you that you’ve put off for far too long, go ahead and make a list of them. Bradley suggests placing tasks into the following categories:

Do: These are the most important tasks that need to be completed first.
Defer: This is where you can intentionally delay instead of procrastinating.
Delegate: These should probably be completed by someone else.
Delete: These tasks are not as necessary, and they should just be removed from your list.

Step 2* is choreographing your to-do list. This sounds tricky, but it is actually pretty simple. A huge reason that people procrastinate is because the tasks feel threatening. We can take away the overwhelm by breaking up the tasks into manageable pieces. Do the first part of the task. When that is complete you can move on, but keep your focus on part one instead of the whole task.

Step 3* is to name the feeling. What is the stereotyped counselor question? “How does that make you feel?” It’s almost cliche, but there is a reason we ask that one so often…sometimes people don’t know. Often I’ll ask someone how they feel, and they will respond by telling me their thoughts, but thoughts aren’t feelings. Our feelings are raw, primal, and honest. We feel what we feel, and strong feelings don’t listen to logic. Don’t push your feelings aside. Instead allow yourself to acknowledge what you feel. When you tell yourself that you feel overwhelmed, you shift out of the emotional center of your brain and into higher brain functions, where you are actually able to problem-solve.

Step 4* is to act as though your feelings are in a fixed state. As in, assume that your feelings will remain the same, regardless of your actions. This acknowledges the feelings, like in step 3, and it also shifts you into a mindset where you can start to learn that your feelings and your actions can be different from one-another. In other words, “I feel anxious, and I’m going to do this task anyway.”

Step 5* is to diffuse your anxiety. Anxiety can be reduced by intentionally calming the body. There are a lot of breathing exercises. I recommend taking long slow deep breaths, and making a point to exhale longer than you inhale. Mindfulness exercises and meditation can be helpful for reducing the level of anxiety that you currently carry. By the way, mindfulness does tend to be calming, but its greatest effects come from regular practice, not just a one-time effort.

Step 6* is to act before you think. This sounds weird, right? It actually makes perfect sense, though. Sometimes the things we put off aren’t actually time consuming. If you just do it before you can talk yourself out of it, you may actually finish it before you can justify the reasons why you should play a game of Angry Birds first.

Step 7* is to leave off at the right spot. Procrastinators are famous for having a million incomplete projects, but by specifically stopping at a predetermined place in a task, you might trick yourself into feeling more motivation to pick it up again the next day. Keep in mind, this is different from walking away from a task because it was boring.

Step 8* is temptation bundling, which is really just short for pairing an undesired task with a desired one. An example of this would be doing something tedious while watching your favorite show.

Step 9* is to schedule a consultation with a professional. A counselor can help you with this area of struggle, but Bradley also suggests considering occupational therapy.

As stated last week, the reasons people procrastinate are complicated, and the act of procrastination itself is weirdly responsible for the cycle of procrastination. This isn’t something to feel shame about. It is, however, a significant problem that has the potential to interfere in people’s lives. Getting it under control might feel impossible, but I’ve watched people do it, and the pride that they start to feel in themselves is a wonderful sight to see.

*https://www.livestrong.com/article/13776119-how-to-stop-procrastinating/