I think there is a wide variation in what people think of when they think about kindergarten years through high school. Some people say, “These are the best years of your life,” but plenty of people do not agree with that old phrase. Nonetheless, school-age years are very important in a child’s development, and ideally, we want kids to get through these years having the best experience possible. Kids who struggle in school do so in a variety of ways. Some kids have difficulty interacting with their peers, some struggle with academics, while others struggle with their behavior. Students may have any combination of these three, while others may struggle in more specific ways. If your child is struggling in school, sometimes it is hard to know where to go for help.
Social interactions are tough for many kids. This is especially prevalent for students who are on the Autism spectrum because they may misinterpret social cues and nonverbal communication. However, there are a variety of other reasons that a kid may struggle socially. Kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) frequently have difficulty interacting with their same-age peers due to impulsivity, poor decision making skills, immaturity, or difficulty regulating their emotions. Kids with high anxiety may try to avoid these feelings by staying away from social situations, not knowing that they are actually reinforcing their anxiety when they do so. Kids who have been through traumatic circumstances have brains that have become wired for safety and are easily triggered by non-dangerous stimuli. Some kids actually spend so much time playing video games or watching videos on their phones that they miss out on developing social skills even though they may not have a mental health diagnosis.
The kids who struggle socially need opportunities to gain and test new skills. Schools naturally provide lots of opportunities for this through clubs, groups, sports, etc. However, many kids may be reluctant to pursue any of these opportunities because of fears and anxieties. Still, just because they are reluctant, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t benefit from these opportunities. Parents should give consideration to whether a gentle push in this direction might be appropriate. Most schools also have social workers, counselors, or teachers who will offer social skills groups for the kids that have difficulty in these areas.
Kids who struggle academically may do so because of specific learning disorders (when their ability in a certain subject area is significantly lower than their overall intelligence), ADHD, Autism, language disabilities, cognitive disabilities (which means they have a harder time learning), brain injuries, physical problems, or other health impairments. When the reasons for academic struggles lie within one or more of these reasons, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 Plan can become necessary to put into place. IEPs are for special education services, and 504 Plans are typically for medical reasons. There is a lot of overlap between them, however, and either can be used for conditions like ADHD. These plans are legal documents created by a team that includes many from the school district, the parent/guardian, and whomever the guardian sees fit to invite. The team works together to figure out if the child qualifies for services under one of the plans, and then they create a list of accommodations and decisions about placement for the child. Once the plan is in place, it is legally binding, requiring that school (or any school that the child may move to) to ensure that appropriate accommodations are put into place which will help the child learn. Important terms to know before going through this process are Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE), which all public schools are legally required to provide, as well as Least Restrictive Environment (LRE), which means that a child’s placement must be the least restrictive as is potentially beneficial to the child. Schools are obligated to initiate a process which includes preliminary interventions in order to see what may be beneficial to a child’s education when learning problems are recognized. When necessary, they are obligated to initiate the process of evaluation for Special Education eligibility or a 504 Plan. Parents may also start the process for evaluation to determine if Special Education or 504 accommodations are necessary, but they must put their request for evaluation in writing. Once this written request is put into place, the school must begin the process of determining if an evaluation is appropriate and if so, begin the testing process. Sometimes parents encounter roadblocks in this process, which can make educational advocates necessary, but don’t assume that the school will be uncooperative from the start. I think most of the time problems can be cleared up with calm communication.
Behavior is another area of concern for many children. Sometimes behavior problems are a result of learning difficulties, trauma, ADHD, or Autism, but there is always a reason for the behaviors when we dig deep enough. I’m certain that I’ve quoted a wonderful special education teacher before, who was fond of saying, “All behavior is communication.” When behaviors interfere with learning, it is necessary to put supports into place, but the best supports tend to revolve around helping that child to develop positive relationships with at least one adult in the building. Sometimes it is also necessary to consider whether behaviors that interfere with learning should be supported through an IEP. When behavior is an issue and an IEP is determined to be necessary, parents should insist that a Functional Behavior Analysis (FBA) and a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) be a part of that IEP. When done correctly, these can be useful tools for understanding and responding to a child’s behavior in a way that best meets that child’s needs.
When it comes to our kids, all of us get understandably protective. Education is extremely important, and it has the ability to allow kids to reach their dreams. It is easy to get bogged down with worry and even defensive when it comes to their schooling. In my experience, though, most teachers and school administrators are in their fields for the right reasons–because they love kids. When you have concerns, start with speaking openly and honestly with their teachers. If you don’t get the results you’re looking for, feel free to take those concerns to the next level, but when you start asking questions, you’re bound to eventually find the right answers.