I’ve been thinking a lot about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) recently, and how very misunderstood this diagnosis actually is. People tend to understand that ADHD causes people to be hyperactive, impulsive, and/or distracted. This is true, but ADHD also shows up in a variety of ways, and impacts people’s lives differently. There is a major genetic link that makes it commonly shared between parents and offspring as well as between siblings. These family members may not exhibit the same symptoms at all, though they will probably share some difficulties in areas that can be unexpected. They may quickly escalate to high levels of emotion, which can show up as anger outbursts, meltdowns, or extreme sadness. They may have a very hard time organizing tasks and responsibilities. They may appear to have terrible memories and forget what they were going to do once distracted. They also might be unexpectedly excellent and laser-focused in their attention when they do certain high-interest activities or hobbies. These sentences all started with “they may” because, though there are many similarities in how ADHD shows up, there are also many differences. If you’ve seen one person with ADHD, you’ve seen one person…others will certainly experience it differently.
I started this blog with the intention of sharing a variety of tips for people with ADHD, but as I was looking for resources I came across an article from the ADDitude Magazine website that listed 80 different tips from known experts. These experts were all folks who have ADHD and have found strategies that help them.
There were a variety of organizational* strategies, like: having a colorful wallet, hanging visual reminders on the door, electronic fobs that beep and help people find their keys, leaving things that go together in the same place (wrapping paper with the scissors and tape, etc), and leaving important notes in the most commonly reached-for pocket.
There was also a section on impulse control* strategies, like: a variety of methods for delaying impulsive purchases, turning an imaginary key in their pocket in order to lock their mouth against saying something that will cause problems, setting reminders to practice mindfulness, music, reading, phone apps for organization assistance, and also making sure to set down the phone at certain times.
Next was a section on getting tasks completed*: people use calendar notifications, taking pictures of important things with their phone, emailing themselves important things, and for some, using a paper/pen calendar works best.
Next was a section on parenting* which I found refreshing because kids who can be emotional and impulsive can often present a major challenge for emotional and impulsive parents. It was recommended that parents: Use a calm voice with their kids, take a break when needed, make sure their kids feel loved and valued, plan ahead for dealing with different problems, give commands and instructions in the similar ways each time, and remember not to punish a kid who also has ADHD for doing things that are symptomatic of having ADHD.
The next section was about interacting with the school* along with or on behalf of their kids: Be helpful and kind, keep open communication with teachers, praising the teachers who clearly make an effort to “get” their kids instead of focusing only on the classes where kids have the most difficulty, giving teachers tips about what is most effective with their child, prepping for homework through calming activities and utilizing spaces that work for their child’s attention span, getting a tutor, and allowing kids to shift between subjects as they feel their attention start to wander.
The last set of tips was for parents who have trouble getting their kids to sleep*: Giving their child Melatonin, dimming the lights in their rooms ahead of time, using calming music, having them take a warm shower or bath, reducing light, using white noise, reading, massage, quiet conversation, and visualization exercises for calming.
It was once thought that people would outgrow ADHD as they get older. This generally isn’t true, however. What does happen is that their brains mature, like everyone else’s, and they pick up tricks along the way that help them. Often with a diagnosis of ADHD, people also have the opportunity to find a medication that works as well. This can take some trial and error, but when people find an effective medication to help treat their attention, hyperactivity, organization, and emotional regulation they can couple this assistance with a variety of coping techniques which allow them to find success. Meds aren’t required for this success because there are many adults who are not medicated. Rather, success should be measured by creating a life that fits their natural talents along with utilizing strategies for overcoming some of their natural challenges.
*https://www.additudemag.com/dealing-with-adhd-80-coping-strategies/