Let me start off by saying I’m not a video game hater, even though I’ll probably sound like it by the end of this blog. Talking about my old NES and Super Nintendo games will only make me sound old, but I will admit to having a ton of fun battling my college roommates in Super Smash Bros on the N64 on a near-daily basis. Video games are fun. This is undeniable. If they weren’t, it wouldn’t be such a rich industry. Gaming can also provide* socialization and a sense of community for some people. The world is considerably different than it’s ever been, and internet gaming allows for a different way of connecting as well as staying in touch. However, gaming can also be addictive. At this point, the game designers have had tons of research showing them exactly how to make games that people don’t want to stop playing.

Before we assume that every adolescent is addicted to gaming, it should be said that those who have a serious addiction are in the minority*** of people who play video games. Research is mixed** due to disagreement about qualifications for addiction, but those affected by gaming addiction are anywhere between 1%-10% of the population. Signs of addiction include**:

Grades or work performance suffering due to the amount of time spent gaming.
Anxiety, irritability or other withdrawal symptoms when games aren’t accessible.
Needing to spend more time to get the same positive effects from gaming.
Dropping previously enjoyed activities and/or socialization in order to play games.
An inability to moderate the amount of time spent gaming or unsuccessful attempts to quit.
Lying to loved ones about the amount of time spent gaming.
A decline in personal hygiene due to time spent gaming.
Using games as a way of escape or avoidance of stress or conflict.
Using games as a way of coping with negative moods.

Health effects* from too much gaming can include “gamer’s thumb” or “tennis elbow” which are both forms of tendonitis or inflammation of tendons near the joints. There are higher rates of obesity for teen gamers due to a lack of physical activity combined with a higher rate of food intake (sensations of fullness are disrupted during gaming and the desire to eat increases regardless of whether someone is actually hungry). Other symptoms include vision problems, eye strain, headaches, poor concentration, depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and an increased likelihood of seizures.

Those at highest risk** for becoming addicted to gaming include those with higher rates of impulsivity or anxiety, as well as those with lower rates of self control. People with ADHD*** become addicted to gaming at higher rates than those without this diagnosis.

Not everyone who drinks, even to excess, is an alcoholic. Likewise, not everyone who spends a significant amount of time gaming has a video game addiction. It isn’t necessary to have all of the warning signs listed previously in order to have an addiction, but likewise, having 1 or 2 of these warning signs isn’t necessarily indicative of a major problem. Ultimately, like most areas of mental health issues, it comes down to the extent to which the problem interferes with one’s daily life. Moderation* seems to be key, and this is where parents can help their teens who do not yet have a fully developed prefrontal cortex (the decision-making and planning region of the brain). Helping kids by taking away their ability to spend hours upon hours playing video games (as well as watching videos or scrolling through social media) can allow the opportunity to have more well-rounded experiences. Video games are a perfectly acceptable supplement to someone’s life. However, I’ve never seen a healthy situation in which video games are at the forefront of someone’s life.

If you or someone you care about is dealing with addictive behaviors surrounding video games, there is research*** to show the effectiveness of some therapy approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Support groups for gaming addiction exist, and there are some studies looking at the effects of low doses of medications like Naltrexone which block dopamine receptors. Speak to your doctor and mental health professional if you need help.

*https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-health-effects-of-too-much-gaming-2020122221645

**https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23124-video-game-addiction

***https://www.additudemag.com/video-game-addiction-signs-causes-treatment/

When you stop and think about it, the word “friend” is complicated. We use the same word whether we’re describing the person that we trust the most or someone that we’re merely associated with on social media. This word seems to include anyone that we can tolerate, which is weird. If I was introducing you to someone that I think of like a brother alongside of someone that I used to work with 15 years ago I’d probably be using the same word. My point today isn’t to get caught up in arguing word meanings, but as I started thinking about support networks, my mind first went to friendships because of the integral role they play in supporting us. However, friends aren’t the only ones that might be a part of our social supports. A support network is made up of people on the same footing as us (friends, cousins, siblings, coworkers, aquaintences, or neighbors), and it can also include people who may not be on the same footing because of a difference in power dynamics (parents, extended family members, mentors, etc). Everyone has a place in the support network, but I do tend to think that friends hold a particularly valuable position because of the equality in these relationships.

Poor social support is associated** with depression and poor physical health. As a matter of fact, in a study of middle-aged men over a period of 7 years, those with stronger social and emotional connections were less likely to die within this time span. According to Kendra Cherry in an article** for Very Well Mind, there are 3 different types of support that can be relied upon from a support network: Emotional, instrumental, and informational support. Emotional support just might be what people normally think of when they think of having a support network. These are the people that listen to you vent or complain, offer a shoulder to cry on, or stand in your corner ready to support you. Instrumental support is when someone provides something tangible or offers physical help with something. Informational support shows up in the form of advice, mentoring, or sharing wisdom.

Our social groups and the people whom we choose to surround ourselves with makes a difference in how we live our lives. Social pressures** may not be able to force us to make certain choices, but negative influences can increase a tendency to make harmful choices. Likewise, positive influences can help us to make positive choices. Surrounding ourselves with the right people can also help us better deal with stress and better motivate ourselves.

Growing our social support network may seem daunting to adults. We already know that it is harder to make friends as adults unless we’re specifically working on it. However, this may not be the overwhelming task that people think it is. The Americal Psychological Association* suggests:

Cast a wide net. Not everyone can be everything that you need. Our supports may all serve different purposes in our lives. Some may be good listeners, some might be a good help with fixing things, some might be good at delivering tough love when you need to hear it, while others may be perfect for having fun and blowing off steam.
Be proactive. I had a friend once comment that he thought there were millions of people waiting around for someone to reach out to them. We lead busy lives, and sometimes we get caught up in them and don’t reach out to others. If you’re feeling like people aren’t making time for you, remember that the phone works both ways. If you make sure to be there for others, they’re even more likely to be there for you.
Use technology. Face to face contact and relationships are best. Regardless of what innovations are created, we get the most out of being together. Nonetheless, sometimes this is very difficult due to distance and time constraints. A facetime call may be inferior to an in-person visit, but it could still be very valuable for maintaining relationships.
Follow your interests. If you’re willing to look, you will find clubs and groups of people with similar hobbies and interests. Finding people that will join you as you geek out about something uniquely interesting to you is a very fun experience.
Seek out peer support. It is entirely possible that your current support network isn’t equipped to handle certain stressors that you’re dealing with. Community and mental health groups can be excellent for finding people who can share a unique understanding.
Improve your social skills. Some people benefit from therapy and actual social skills training, but others may just need to practice speaking to people, asking questions, and showing a curious interest in others. Remember, awkwardness fades as situations become more familiar through practice.
Ask for help. If you can’t find supports on your own, check with your places of worship, community centers, libraries, or health clinics to find a list of resources available in or around your community.

For some, having a mental health counselor is a necessary part of their support network. It is a very unique relationship. I’m not friends with or actively involved in the lives of my clients (regardless of what you may see on tv shows or movies). The counseling relationship is one that is free from judgement, and it is designed to help people take a look at their lives and their reasons for why they do what they do. If you feel like you need a more robust support network in your life there is work involved in growing it, but the work is worthwhile.

*https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/manage-social-support

**https://www.verywellmind.com/social-support-for-psychological-health-4119970