Reducing stress

Last week’s blog was all about the physical toll that stress takes on our bodies. This means that it was definitely a huge downer. Stress is all around us, and sometimes it can feel completely unescapable. For the remainder of this month we’re going to concentrate on what to do about the stress in our lives, reducing its negative effects, and calming our bodies. The main purpose of this week’s blog is to look at how we can make some possible changes to our lifestyles and patterns that will have the effect of reducing overall stress. 

If I had a nickel for every time that I told a client this, I’d have a lot of nickels, but the top three things that we can do to positively impact our mental health are to eat the right foods, exercise, and get the right amount of sleep. When considering your diet, it is generally recommended to focus on eating a variety of fresh foods with ingredients that you can actually pronounce and avoiding* nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol (which may feel like short-term stress reducers, but can actually increase stress over time). The foods we eat impact our moods and our overall health. WebMD*** recommends reducing sugars, increasing complex carbs, lean proteins, antioxidants, Vitamin C, Magnesium, and Omega-3 fatty acids. Exercise is important, but don’t forget that walking is exercise. If you feel you don’t have time for exercise make some simple changes*** like: parking far away when you go to the store, take the stairs instead of elevators, walk on your lunch break, wash your car by hand, take your bike instead of driving, or clean up your house. The importance of sleep is vastly underrated, and I’ve worked with a lot of people (especially teens) who don’t get enough sleep. Adults typically need at least 7-8 hours of quality sleep every night. If you are having trouble sleeping, The Cleveland Clinic recommends*: 

  • Have a consistent bedtime and wake-up time

  • Make sure your room is quiet, dark, and comfortable

  • Avoid napping during the day as much as possible 

  • Don’t lounge in the bed, it should be used for sleep and sex only 

  • Use relaxing music or sounds when trying to sleep

  • Avoid caffeine and exercise several hours before bedtime

It is also recommended* to take an inventory of your day and the demands on your time. It is sometimes necessary to prioritize some of these demands and let go of others. This might involve setting boundaries with other people. Remember that it is also important to ask for help from our friends and loved ones from time to time. Before you worry about inconveniencing others, ask yourself if you would help them if they asked. Even so, we don’t have to say yes to everything. It is okay to tell someone no if their request will be a major inconvenience or increase the stress in your life. 

I’ve brought up exploring your values a lot in these blogs, but this process also relates to managing stress in our lives. *When our actions match our beliefs, we tend to feel better, even when we’re busy. Many times our actions and values don’t line up. This tends to be in the form of our “shoulds,” as in, “I should stop procrastinating,” “I should lose weight,” “I should stop spending so much time on my phone.” When we’re stressed, we sometimes fall on unhealthy coping strategies that can make things worse in the long-run. We tend to know when we’re in these patterns, though, but it’s easy to get stuck on what we “should” do. “Should” is a limiting word because it is inherently judgmental. When we’re “shoulding” all over ourselves, we tend to not actually do anything different, but we do feel bad about what we’d like to be different. Checking in with one’s values helps people figure out what is really important to them. Once we’ve done that, it becomes much more powerful to start to say “I will” instead of “I should.” 

Many people’s jobs can be very stressful due to pay, unrealistic expectations for workers, a dead-end (or no opportunities for advancement), lack of control, or lack of support. Work can commonly be a big source of all of the undesirable side-effects of stress that I wrote about last week. The American Psychological Association** recommends the following steps: 

  • Keep a record of stressful situations for at least a week to help you understand what happened and what about it seemed to trigger your stress response. 

  • Use healthy coping strategies instead of unhealthy ones. This means that instead of reaching for a cigarette or a drink, go for a walk, do some yoga, or find some time for things you enjoy.

  • Set some boundaries for work, such as not responding to work emails or texts when you leave for the day. It’s also important to get away from time to time, so if you have vacation time, make sure to use it. 

  • Learn to relax with mindfulness. I’ll post more specific information about mindfulness later this month. 

  • Talk to your supervisor. Most likely it would be easier for them to give you some assistance than it would be to replace you if you become completely burnt out at work, so try talking to the person in charge. Many supervisors have a policy of, “don’t bring me a problem without some possible solutions,” so don’t just have a goal of complaining. Make a goal of finding answers together. 

These are big-picture ideas about reducing the amount of stress in your life. Next we will be talking about specific steps for actually calming your body when you’re feeling high levels of stress and anxiety, so check back here next week as we continue this blog series about stress. 

*https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-relieve-stress 

**https://www.apa.org/topics/healthy-workplaces/work-stress 

***https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management

What is stress, and how is it affecting me?

“I’m doing fine.” That’s the normal response we get when we ask someone how they're doing. You would think this means that most people don’t have a worry in the world, but we’re not actually feeling that way. In fact, as I was looking for sources for this blog, I came across multiple different articles suggesting that Americans are among the most stressed people in the world. Even though it is tempting to point our fingers at our own pet reasons for why this is the case, the truth is there are numerous different and interconnecting reasons for our stress. The reality for some is that stress has become such an ever-present part of their lives that they don’t even realize it is abnormal and causing problems for them. Normal is a subjective word. We get used to things being a certain way and it may all seem normal to us until someone we trust actually points out, “That ain’t right!” During the month of April, I will be posting a series of blogs about stress and how we can start to manage it and reduce its harmful effects. 

According to the Mayo Clinic* stress can cause a series of problems for: 

  • Our bodies: Headache, muscle tension, chest pain, fatigue, reduced sex drive, upset stomach, sleep problems, getting sick more frequently

  • The brain and mood: Anxiety, restlessness, reduced motivation, poor memory, overwhelmed, angry, sad/depressed

  • Our behavior: over/undereating, outbursts, drug/alcohol/tobacco use, isolation, avoiding friends, being more sedentary 

If you’ve noticed that you’ve been having more headaches, a stiff neck, increased cravings for sweets, and that you’re snapping at your family a lot more lately, you might be stressed out. Let me go ahead and say that stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Our bodies are designed to react to stress in a way that can actually be helpful*** for dealing with short term stressors. The problem is when our body continues to respond to chronic stress and the effects start to wear on the body. For the purpose of this article, we’re talking about chronic stress, not short term stressors. 

The American Psychological Association has more specific information** about the effects that stress has on our bodies:

  • Musculoskeletal system: Stress causes our muscles to tighten in order to be ready for use (fight or flight), but chronic stress keeps those muscles always tight and always at the ready. This can cause a variety of body pains and problems. 

  • Respiratory and cardiovascular systems: Stress causes an increased need for oxygen, so for those with existing respiratory problems, this can compound those issues. Ongoing stress puts pressure on the heart through increased exertion. It also increases heart disease risk, and the long-term presence of stress hormones can cause blood vessels to become inflamed.

  • Immune system: The Endocrine system produces more stress hormones during times of chronic stress and this can cause a variety of physical and mental health conditions. It can also make it easier for people to get sick. 

  • Gastrointestinal system: The neurons in the digestive system are in constant communication with the brain. Stress can cause bloating, inflammation, and discomfort throughout the entire digestive system. It can disrupt the millions of digestive bacteria that live in the gut, and also weaken the lining of the intestines. This weakening can allow the gut to leak bacteria and food particles into the body. People with digestive health diseases are particularly prone to problems from stress. 

  • Reproductive system: Stress can drastically lower libido in men and women. It can also negatively affect fertility and increase the odds of erectile dysfunction. 

Stress wreaks havoc on the entire body. It does more than just give us butterflies in the stomach. A little stress creates a stress response that is designed to help us. A lot of ongoing stress starts to become a slow-acting poison. If you are having any of the symptoms listed in this blog, be honest with yourself (and also with your doctor). Yes, our bodies naturally have more trouble as we get older, but we worsen the problems when we ignore the impact that stress is having on our bodies and allow it to continue. The rest of this month will be devoted to helping people better understand what they can do about chronic stress in their lives. 

*https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987 

**https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/body 

***https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/effects-on-body