The theme of this month continues to be stress. Two weeks ago I wrote about what stress is and how it affects the body. Last week the focus was on things that people can adjust in their lifestyle or habits that can have a positive effect on their ability to deal with the stress in their lives. This is helpful in the sense that it is an investment in your time or efforts that will reduce stress overall, however, those things are less helpful during the moment when the stuff hits the fan. Today I’d like to focus on immediate stress management techniques that people can do when they are stressed and overwhelmed.
1. Ground yourself. No, I don’t mean that you take your own phone and tv privileges away. When overwhelmed, people use words like spinning out of control, spiraling, or being in a tailspin. When this happens, we need to firmly plant ourselves in the present so that we can have a stable place to handle the chaos all around us.
My favorite grounding techniques involve the senses. Start by looking around you and taking note of 5 things that catch your eye. Notice these things and pay close attention to the details of them.
Next, stop and listen. It might help to close your eyes during this exercise as you try to identify 4 different sounds.
Touch is the next sense that we’re going to explore, but I recommend that you not use your hands. Our hands are very sensitive and this is usually how we explore touch sensations, but we have nerve endings all over our bodies. Feel for 3 different points of contact like the ground beneath your feet, the feel of your chair beneath you or against your back, the wrinkle in the knees of your pants, or even the slight weight of your shirt laying on your shoulders.
Next is the sense of smell. I don’t have a particularly strong sense of smell, so if I’m in a room for a few minutes, I probably don’t smell anything. The thing about this exercise, though, is that the benefits come from searching, not necessarily finding the sensation. Maybe you only smell one thing or nothing. Maybe earlier you were in a quiet room and could only hear the sound of your own breathing. That’s fine. Try to find 2 different smells.
Last is taste. I invite you to check your mouth for 1 flavor or a taste (by the way, even if a sight, sound, touch, smell, or taste is unpleasant, we can still explore them). You can also feel free to take a drink or bite a snack during this part of the exercise, just really pay attention to the sensations in your mouth, including texture.
Another grounding exercise is to have a snack that has a very strong flavor and put your full attention on it as you eat it. This could be a peppermint, something spicy, something especially sweet, or anything that has a particularly notable flavor. I think that something with complex flavors like salty-sweet could work as well. The point is to have something that draws your attention into the here and now.
2. Progressive muscle contraction and relaxation. For this exercise, we start at the feet and work our way up. Take your feet and squeeze them hard for 10 seconds, and then allow the muscles to relax. Put your full attention on the muscles when it is time to relax them and allow them to loosen until they are softer than they were before. Then repeat contracting the muscles again for another count of 10 and allow them to relax again. Then it is time to move your attention up to your legs. Squeeze and hold your leg muscles for a count of 10 and then relax them fully the same way that you did for your feet. Repeat this exercise as well. Move your way up through your body and repeat this exercise with your stomach, lower back, shoulders, arms and hands, and finally with your neck and face. By the time you are done, your body should feel more relaxed than it was previously.
There is a similar exercise that I especially recommend to kids that get overwhelmed and start to act aggressively. I call it the “break glass in case of emergency” exercise. For this exercise, stand up and squeeze every muscle in your body as strong and tight as you can manage while you hold your breath for a full 10 seconds. After 10 seconds, breathe normal for about half a minute and then repeat again. This activity uses a bunch of energy in a short amount of time, and it can help people who feel like they are about to lose it.
3. Breathing exercises. Sometimes people roll their eyes at me when I suggest breathing exercises, but they definitely work. Slowing down our breathing slows down our body and calms our mind.
Just breathe deep and slow. Try to concentrate on slowly breathing in with your belly, and breathe in until your belly won’t extend out any further. Then breathe out, and see if you can exhale longer than you inhaled.
4 square breathing. Imagine a box in front of you or use the visual of a window or picture frame. Let your eyes travel up the left side of the square as you breathe in for 4 seconds, move your eyes from left to right on the top of the square as you hold your breath for 4 seconds, work your way down the right side of the square as you breathe out for 4 seconds, and then move from right to left on the bottom of the square as you hold for 4 seconds without any air. Then repeat this exercise until you have traveled the square 5 different times. When you complete this exercise, allow your breathing to return to normal.
Finger tracing breathing. Hold out one hand in front of you. Use the index finger on your other hand to slowly start tracing your hand starting at the thumb-side of your wrist. As you slowly travel from your wrist to the tip of your thumb breathe in. Pause at the top of your thumb briefly then slowly travel to the base of your thumb and index finger, breathing out the whole time. Then slowly travel up your index finger as you breathe in again, and breathe out as you slowly travel down the other side of your index finger. Repeat this with your middle, ring, and pinky fingers. Feel free to repeat the exercise a few more times or allow your breathing to return to normal.
These techniques won’t take away your stress, I’m sorry to say, but they will help you in the moment to not feel lost in overwhelming thoughts and emotions. The idea behind these exercises is to get people back to the point that they can think again. When we can think, we can find solutions.