Today I wanted to revisit a topic that I reference frequently in these blogs: mindfulness. I think that most people have heard of mindfulness, but many others look at me strangely when I bring it up. Mindfulness is definitely associated with meditation, and for good reason; some of the practices are exactly that. However, when people hear meditation, some think of a religious practice or hippies. Mindfulness is simply a specific focus on something happening in the present, and I promise it can be done regardless of your beliefs or the length of your hair.

Mindfulness is not new. In fact, it is a very old practice. However, modern research shows that there are a lot of benefits to practicing mindfulness. It has been shown to help people with ADHD to improve concentration and reduce the frequency and intensity of their emotional reactions. It has been shown to reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, in our blood stream. For people who have experienced trauma and have an easily reactive fight or flight response, mindfulness is shown to help strengthen their ability to regulate themselves and calm their bodies. According to the Mayo Clinic, mindfulness** can lower:

Stress
Anxiety
Pain
Depression
Insomnia
High blood pressure
Symptoms of asthma and fibromyalgia
Feelings of burnout

It can improve**:

Attention
Sleep
(Interestingly) Control of diabetes

Mindfulness practice teaches us how to notice what is going on inside of us without judging whether it is good or bad. I’ve stated frequently that our emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. Attempting to fight or suppress our feelings isn’t effective, and it tends to create all kinds of problems. When we practice mindfulness, we can learn to sit with our feelings and emotions, which can lead to acceptance. Counterintuitively, leaning into the emotions that one is trying to avoid is actually what helps relieve the distress that they feel.

I often describe mindfulness as an exercise for your brain. Though it is calming, the best effects of mindfulness come from regular practice, not just the temporary benefits of regulating oneself when we feel out of control. Just like strength training works over time with regular, repetitive actions, mindfulness is most helpful when done this way too.

Here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be something that takes up a large portion of your day. In an article from the Cleveland Clinic, it is recommended* to start with daily 1-minute mindfulness practices. They suggest taking 5 slow deep breaths, while placing your attention on the movement of the breath (the air going in and out of your nose, the rise and fall of your shoulders, the expansion and contraction of your chest, or the movement of your belly). After you’ve done this 5 times, pause and then do 5 more breaths. That should take approximately a minute. The article also recommends a lot of different activities that can be done mindfully, but as I looked at the list, it was a series of hobbies. Whatever you do for enjoyment, just be present.

Other recommendations** for mindfulness practices:

Pay attention, using your senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste)
Bring yourself fully into the present moment
Make an effort to accept yourself without judgment of good or bad
Scan your body slowly and methodically from head to toe or vice versa
Sit with your eyes closed and take note of what you feel in your body
Go for a walk while noticing the sensations you feel (the sun on your face, the smell of the air, the things you see, the feel of your feet touching and leaving the pavement, etc)

One last thing: you’re going to get distracted while you practice mindfulness. This is normal, and it happens. When you notice that your focus has drifted to a distracting noise or thought, just gently pull your attention back to what you want to focus on. I once heard that the people who are bad at mindfulness get the best impact from mindfulness. The act of bringing your attention back from the distraction, to the thing you have decided to focus on, is where we really flex our mindful muscles. The Cleveland Clinic article* put it perfectly, saying that sometimes you may feel like you’ve been so distracted that you weren’t actually being mindful. That’s ok–it’s all about the practice.

*https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-mindfulness/

**https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356

“The whole world’s against us, man, I swear to God!” If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith’s movies you might know that quote (and you probably know the word I left out of it). Doesn’t it just feel like this sometimes? I think most of us can relate to the expression, “When it rains, it pours.” We all know that things are going to go wrong at times, but every now and then we have a season of our lives where everything seems to go wrong at once. When this happens, it feels like no problem can be dealt with because there are a ton of other problems waiting. Everything becomes overwhelming. This can rob us of our peace, affect our sleep, damage our moods, and increase anxiety. It doesn’t just suck when this happens, it kind of feels personal…like the universe knocked us down and then just started kicking.

Here’s the thing, there isn’t a grand, universal conspiracy against us during these times in our lives, and the logic part of our brain can remind us of this. Unfortunately, the emotional part of our brain doesn’t care much for this logic, and it isn’t easy to convince. In some ways, it would almost be easier if we could blame the world (“Aha, it’s the fault of this giant floating space rock!”) because if it was Earth’s fault, we could point to it as the cause of our struggles and wait it out until the world decided to pick on someone else. Since our whole world isn’t really against us, though, blaming it or the universe isn’t helpful. I mean, think about it; if we were to actually believe that our series of unfortunate events is actually being orchestrated by a power greater than ourselves we are essentially helpless to stand against it. We might as well just stay in bed, and that is the real danger with this type of thinking. It gives us license to just stop trying. We call it a pity party (usually with a critical tone) when we feel overwhelmed and unable to move forward, but a pity party serves a legitimate purpose. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that we need to just sit and cry about it…to feel it. However, once we’ve done this it’s time to do the hard work of getting up, drying our eyes, and finding our path to peace.

Sometimes it helps to have some actionable strategies to use instead of, “I just need to do something differently.” Try the following from an article* on the Psychology Today website:

Breathe. You’re probably thinking that this is the same nonsense that every counselor always says, and you’re right, we tell everyone to breathe. The reason is because it works. Maybe 10 deep breaths aren’t enough, but slow deep breathing for a few minutes will calm the body. We can’t always change the stress that is being flung at us, but we can open our window of tolerance a little wider by calming the body. This helps us to manage that stress a little better.
Be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up with negative self talk will only cause you to feel more defeated. What’s more, the language we use has power and it can rob us of our motivation to do anything different. If we tell ourselves that we’re awful and we will always be awful it becomes pointless to try and improve our situation. If you don’t know how to pump yourself up with the positive, just imagining that you’re talking to a friend instead of yourself.
Take care of your body. Make sure to eat enough healthy foods, give yourself that 8-9 hours for proper sleep. People frequently mention having trouble turning their brain off and start looking at the clock thinking, “Now I can only get a max of 7 hours…6 hours,” and so on. Mindfulness exercises can get you out of your head and into your body. It might also help to recognize that even if you’re just lying there awake you’re still resting, and resting is better for you than being on your phone. Remember to also drink plenty of water and squeeze in some light exercise or movement.
Eliminate what you can from your to-do list. You do not have to be perfect. Some things can wait until the crisis has passed, and some tasks can be delegated. Cut yourself some slack for not being as productive during this stressful time as you’re normally capable of being.
Remind yourself of what is going right. Gratitude is a powerful tool for helping us to recognize the good. Better yet, write down the good so that you don’t forget about it later.
Break problems down into smaller ones. If you were going to climb a mountain, you wouldn’t plan to do it all in one shot. You would set small daily goals which would eventually result in a completed goal. Do the same with the problems in front of you. Attack small portions of the problems until they are fully dealt with; then you’ll be able to effectively work on the next portion.
Understand and believe that this will pass. These seasons of our life are painful and disheartening, but all seasons change. Remind yourself that you are strong and you will get through this.

None of us get through this journey of life unscathed. We can find meaning and strength from our hardest times, but these lessons and strengths are hard-won. In the meantime, take it easy on yourself and lean on those that love you.

*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/202003/what-do-when-it-feels-the-world-is-against-you