Is my anxiety going to keep getting worse?

Sometimes I hear from new clients that they are starting therapy because their anxiety has gotten out of control. A common fear that they have typically revolves around two central questions: “Are my anxious feelings going to continue to get worse” and “Will I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?” The answers to these questions, unfortunately, aren’t very straightforward. 

Let’s go ahead and tackle that first question, “Are my anxious feelings going to keep getting worse?” The answer isn’t great because my response is, “That depends.” There is a quote of questionable origin (but might have come from Jessie Potter): “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always gotten.” Our behavior impacts our levels of anxiety; specifically regarding whether we feel anxious and do something anyway or if we avoid the things that make us anxious. When we feel anxious there are a variety of sensations that people feel to greater or lesser degrees: increased heart rate, sweating, fast breathing, muscle tension, racing thoughts, nausea, digestive problems, and a deep sense of overwhelm and dread.

Let’s use being in crowds in an example to explore this topic. There are people who feel the anxiety sensations listed above when they think about going to a crowded place and decide to go anyway. These people teach themselves that the anxiety sensations they’re feeling aren’t dangerous. Even though they may feel uncomfortable with the crowds, they never start to think that this is actually dangerous. There are also people who experience these sensations about crowds and decide to stay home. Unfortunately, this action tells the person that crowds are dangerous. Furthermore, it tells them that these feelings, themselves, are dangerous. The anxious feelings are then reinforced, and often spread beyond the specific fear. Unfortunately, when people avoid things that make them anxious, the feelings will tend to grow and the anxiety will get worse…often until the point that they decide they can’t let this go on any longer, and this is usually when people seek counseling, medication, or both. With the help of a professional (especially if the individual is willing to do their inevitable counseling homework assignments) they can start to gain control and reduce the symptoms of their anxiety. 

The next question, “Will I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?” In short, everyone will have to deal with having anxiety for the rest of their lives. I think there is a major misconception regarding anxiety, in that some think that there are people who don’t experience it. There are definitely people who don’t appear anxious when it seems like they should, that part is true, but we all experience anxiety. Just because someone seems cool under pressure doesn’t mean that they don’t feel it. Most likely, they just acknowledge it and move forward anyway. Anxiety, along with all feelings and emotions, is a gift from our ancestors. Never experiencing it would actually be super dangerous. Anxiety causes us to consider matters of safety for ourselves and our loved ones, and it warns us that we need to take precautions against potential danger. It also pumps us up to prepare for something important. Anxiety can be helpful when we learn to use it and stop fearing it. I remember one of my psychology professors (long ago) told the class about a study that found that in situations where someone was supposed to perform a task, anxiety had the ability to help them perform better as long as they had prepared sufficiently. The research suggested that those who had practiced their task enough actually performed better in a test or performance due to the added anxiety they were experiencing. On the flip side, it found that those who were underprepared did worse on the test or performance when the pressure was added. This could sound like a deterrent to doing anything big, but it is actually meant to show that if we prepare ourselves sufficiently, the anxiety we naturally feel can improve our skills and make us sharper. 

Fearing fear and worrying about worry is a very real thing for many people. However, it doesn’t have to be. Really think about how successful you’ve ever actually been at pushing down a feeling or emotion. Most likely you know that it is only a temporary fix because, just like a dirty diaper, you can only ignore a feeling for so long before it creates a giant mess. If these concerns feel familiar to you or someone you care about, know that counseling can help people learn how to face down their fears and worries. In the course of doing this, people come to understand that they are no longer controlled by their anxiety; their anxiety can be used to benefit their lives.