It has been a minute since I’ve read a book that I found exciting enough to share on this blog, but I just finished Hidden Potential by Adam Grant. For a book so grounded in research, this was an easy read, and it was full of some great information. Readers of this blog should assume that any useful information that I share came directly from Dr. Grant. This book is all about discovering and unleashing our true potential. It doesn’t contain hacks or shortcuts, in fact Adam acknowledges and writes about the amount of hard work involved, but he also talks about diverting our hard work into what will actually yield the best results instead of working hard and staying in the same place.
Early in the book, Adam references a study from the 1980s that showed that adults who had a very experienced kindergarten teacher made significantly more money than adults who had a less experienced kindergarten teacher. It turns out they don’t become smarter or make better grades going through school because of their advantageous start. Grades tend to even out as kids go through school. The important things that kids seem to learn from a more experienced kindergarten teacher are character skills. Adam says that while our personalities show our predisposition and our tendencies, our character allows us to prioritize our values and move beyond our tendencies. The good news with this is that new research suggests our character isn’t cemented in place. We can continue to mold and adjust our character throughout our lives.
The first important character trait for bringing out our hidden potential is tolerating discomfort. Facing the type of discomfort necessary for major growth requires three types of courage: letting go of what doesn’t work, jumping in and making attempts before you’re actually ready, and making more mistakes than others make attempts. Adam argues that waiting until we are comfortable before making our attempts stunts our growth. By jumping in and making our attempts (and, likewise, facing the discomfort of making mistakes) our growth increases exponentially. He brings up a paradox in learning: You can’t really be comfortable with anything until you’ve practiced enough to master it, but practicing before mastering something is uncomfortable, so people tend to avoid the practice. This leads to procrastination, which is a tendency when we’re outside of our comfort zone. Procrastination isn’t about avoiding the task, it’s about avoiding unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings. Many people fear that their mistakes make them look stupid, so it feels uncomfortable to make them. Owning our mistakes actually makes us smarter, more courageous, and expands our comfort zone.
Adam wants to encourage us to be sponges, but not like the type that sits in your sink. He means the organisms that live in the ocean. They are durable, adaptive survivors that filter out harmful or toxic substances as they bring in the nutrients that they need. He refers to absorptive capacity as, “The ability to recognize, value, assimilate, and apply new information.” Our absorptive capacity depends heavily on whether we simply react to what comes into our awareness vs. proactively seeking out information, skills, and perspectives. It also depends on whether we filter new information as something that will feed our own egos vs something that inspires growth. Being reactive limits our growth because we aren’t actively seeking out ways to grow. Being ego driven also limits us because we reject feedback and anything perceived as negative about us because it’s too uncomfortable. Someone who is both proactive and growth oriented is constantly seeking out new ways to learn and get better, and they welcome feedback as a way of learning from mistakes and continuing to improve themselves. Good feedback is hard to come by, though. It is easy to be a critic or a cheerleader, but those that only focus on telling you about your weaknesses aren’t telling you what you’re doing right. Likewise, those that only celebrate your strengths aren’t telling you how to improve your weaknesses. It is very possible to be both kind and tell others how they can improve. Adam recommends that if you find yourself surrounded by only cheerleaders or critics it is best to ask for advice. This shifts the focus to coaching you on how to be better tomorrow. It’s also not a bad thing if you find yourself shaken by criticism. Being upset is a sign that you’re taking things seriously, and he says this is fine, “As long as your ego doesn’t stand in the way of your learning.” The best coaches are those that care about you, are familiar with you, and are qualified to make judgements about your performance. Even if you don’t take all of their advice, you can still learn from what they’ve told you.
Adam’s next topic is about perfectionism. Being perfect is an impossible standard, and he argues that the perfectionists often look upon their flaws as a shame that must be hidden. This is a competitive world, and there is a lot of pressure to be perfect. In a particularly damning statement, Adam points out that kids under this pressure, “Learn to judge their worth by the absence of inadequacies.” Flaws end up damaging their self esteem. Perfectionists are great at multiple choice tests and memorizing facts, but the real world isn’t multiple choice. They are statistically no better at their jobs than their peers, and in fact, the real masters of their craft usually aren’t the ones who had perfect grades in school. He points out that there are three mistakes that perfectionists make: 1. They obsess over details to the point that they aren’t focused on the bigger picture…they lose sight of the things that really matter. 2. They avoid the unfamiliar and tasks where they may fail…they get good at a subset of skills, but they don’t develop new ones. 3. They shame themselves for mistakes, which makes it impossible to learn from them…the whole reason to review our mistakes is to educate our future selves. In probably the best quote of the whole book, Adam says, “Beating yourself up doesn’t make you stronger–it leaves you bruised.” When others assess us, it turns out that they put more weight on what we do right than what we do wrong. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend in your situation, and make an effort to give yourself the same grace.
This book has too much information to fit in a single blog, so I’ve broken it up into three sections that will be posted throughout December. If I’ve piqued your interest, go ahead and order this book through a store or the library. You won’t be disappointed.