This topic has been on my mind for a little while. I have no interest in making this blog a sounding board about my political views, so even though I will be talking about political differences being a big part of what divides us, I will avoid a biased lens that only adds to the problem. Besides, we’re all surrounded by non-stop political news and information. If that’s what people are looking for, there’s no shortage of places to find it.

Let’s start off with a little good news. Plenty of people are saying that we’re more divided** as a nation than we’ve ever been. I’ve been guilty of thinking that myself. However, we are also a nation that has gone through a Civil War. In more recent history, the 1960s were also a time of major political unrest, and at times, political violence. Our country has been divided before, and long after this particular period of polarization calms down, we will probably find out way back here again. When we think it’s worse than ever, what we’re really saying is that things are more divided now than we can remember, and that has to be put into the context of how many years we’ve actually been aware of political news. For instance, I was born the year Ronald Reagan took office, but I don’t remember anything about his 8 years as president, and I certainly wasn’t aware of “Reaganomics.” I remember Dana Carvey’s impressions of George H. W. Bush after he was elected, but I was aware of very little that Bush was doing. I do remember more of the Clinton years (especially the scandals), but I can’t say that I was particularly knowledgeable about what was actually going on until his last couple of years in office. The George W. Bush years were probably the first that I was consistently paying attention to politics. If I say something like, “This is the worst that things have ever been,” I’m really just basing that statement on less than 30 years of awareness.

Nonetheless, these are very difficult times. If you think that things are more divided now than you’ve ever seen it, you’re probably right. People** who call themselves Democrat or Republican are much more likely to view members of the other party negatively now than they did 40 years ago. Time Magazine has an article* looking at three different reasons why we’ve become so divided. They start by exploring our country’s troubling history with race, and then mention the evolution of capitalism becoming a system that feeds more and more wealth into the top few. As I was looking at these reasons, it occurs to me that these two areas themselves can be divisive issues. The third reason they cited is the major changes in media that inundate us all with constant, biased, and sometimes incorrect new stories that make us all less informed.

In terms of political issues, sparing over those is expected and not a big deal on its own. I think we could all agree that we’re not going to all agree. However, in the last 30 years** political polarization has increased in the sense that people are more likely to identify with a certain party instead of with individual issues. Sure, it can make sense that we identify with a group that we tend to agree with more, but the problem is when we start seeing the other side as…well…other. Increasing, along with polarization, have been negative views of people who label themselves members of the other party. Add into this a tendency we all have toward confirmation bias (an easier time believing things that fit with our current beliefs) and a constant bombardment from news sources and social media that treat the “other side” with contempt and dehumanizing name-calling, and we all start to feel a lot of disdain for the “others.”

With a little advice about what to do about this, researcher, Adam Grant, suggests*** that just trying to take another’s perspective is minimally helpful. However, when we try to imagine the circumstances that might have caused someone to develop a different point of view can actually humanize people who have opposing views or party affiliation. His example involves the issue of gun control. He suggests that someone who is for strict gun control laws try to imagine how their views might be different if they had grown up in a family that was highly involved in hunting. He suggests that someone who is against strict gun control laws try to imagine how their views might be different if they had grown up in Columbine.

At the end of the day, we all have the views we carry because of our particular backgrounds, family histories, and experiences. So do the people who disagree with whatever we happen to believe. Maybe if we can focus a little more on the issues that are important to us, and less on party affiliation, we can remember what is really important to us. It would also be helpful to remember that even when we disagree, people can have opposing views for their own reasons and still be good people. We’re all in this country together with a shared interest in working toward improvement. How we get there isn’t something we’re always going to agree on, and maybe that’s fine.

*https://time.com/5929978/the-u-s-capitol-riot-was-years-in-the-making-heres-why-america-is-so-divided/

**https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psych-unseen/201809/why-has-america-become-so-divided

***https://behavioralscientist.org/your-ideas-are-not-your-identity-adam-grant-on-how-to-get-better-at-changing-your-mind/

“And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a slump. And when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Unslumping yourself is not easily done.” That quote is from the great sage, Dr. Suess in Oh The Places You’ll Go. I think we can all relate to being in a slump. Slumps can be long periods of feeling stuck, and these can often be a reason that people seek out therapy. Slumps can also be shorter—extended bad moods that people just can’t seem to work their way out of for hours or days. I’ve had numerous people describe to me that one bad thing can wreck their whole day because a bad mood just lingers and won’t go away. Frankly, I can completely relate to this as well. Sometimes many of us simply connect with what Terri Clark sang about back in the early 2000’s and say, “I just want to be mad for a while.”

The company Calm, who has a well-known mindfulness app, has an article** about this topic. They identify the causes of bad moods as:

Stress–this is probably the most common cause of bad moods.
Lack of quality sleep–this can damage the mood and cause irritability.
Lack of quality food–the typical American diet is high in sugar and highly processed foods which can cause a lack of essential nutrients and cause inflammation.
External factors–this includes news and social media.
Physical health–our overall health is very connected to our mental health.
Personal expectations–being overly critical of ourselves or having unrealistic expectations can affect the way we think about ourselves.
Lack of downtime–having time for hobbies or doing what we enjoy is rejuvenating, and without this time we can start to feel burnt out.

The Cleveland Clinic recommends* embracing the slump. Like Dr. Suess said, they aren’t much fun; however, they are normal for everyone to experience from time to time. Getting help can be important when we’re down, but it’s also important to take a look inward. Most likely irritation, sadness, and anger are sitting on top of a core feeling that needs to be understood. It’s not only alright, but also sometimes necessary, to sit with the feelings and allow them to wash over you. Journaling could be particularly helpful for sorting through difficult feelings. Sometimes we can get especially down on ourselves when we’re in a bad mood. This can lead to a lot of self criticism. Many of us say and think some pretty awful things about ourselves, but most of us would never talk to a friend like that. Next time, imagine what you would say to a struggling friend and apply that same grace to yourself.

Getting out and socializing is also recommended* for beating the slump. Introverts may hear this and cringe, but there’s no denying that we are social animals. Connecting with friends and loved ones is a great way of boosting one’s mood, and there aren’t strict rules for what that connection has to look like. Maybe that connection can be through phone calls or video chats in addition to in-person get-togethers. Isolation tends to worsen bad moods. While you’re getting out, also consider the importance of upping your physical activity as well. This is a fantastic way to get out of the slump.

Other important forms of self-care* for dealing with a bad mood include:

Practice mindfulness through the use of an app, a class, a youtube channel, or even just being present with the movement of your breath.
Creation, which can include–journaling, art, gardening, baking, construction, or any other way in which you can bring something positive into the world.
Clean up or organize something in order to create some satisfaction and reduce the anxiety that can come with clutter.
Listen to mood-boosting music.
Take a little break from work. When I’ve worked at stressful places I’ve found that eating my lunch in a peaceful place can be much more relaxing than the break room.
Get into nature.
Plan a vacation.

There are a lot of ways to beat the slump, but these tips are no substitute for digging in and uncovering what doesn’t feel right in the first place. Even if your slumps are short-lived, it is still helpful to figure out what is contributing to them. If you’re having trouble getting these answers on your own it can help to talk to someone. There is plenty of value in talking with friends or family when we’re down and struggling. Some problems can run a little deeper, and in these situations it can help to speak with a counselor in order to find the answers you’re looking for. Just please remember that the slump isn’t permanent. It can take hard work to break out of it, but to finish with another quote by Dr. Suess, “Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”

*https://health.clevelandclinic.org/not-feeling-like-yourself-lately-how-to-get-out-of-a-funk

**https://blog.calm.com/blog/how-to-get-out-of-a-bad-mood